Garage Sale Find: Holy Junk

I think this journal should start with one of my most epic of finds. This is a holy one, indeed. As I was perusing the piles of junk accumulated by a small Puerto Rican man in a closed down pizza parlor in South Williamsburg, I happened upon this little gem lying underneath a pair of acid washed Levis (a find in and of themselves). I locked sad eyes with ceramic Jesus and immediately knew it was meant to be. I asked the King of the junk if I could plug him in and sure enough, he lit up, like a glorious beacon of heavenly light. "How much?", I asked. Senor looked unsure. He glanced at the masterpiece and back at me. I put on my poker face trying to appear uninterested and aloof, like this heavy as hell ceramic Jesus lamp wasn't going to change my life forever. I suppose it worked because the next word he uttered was sinful. "...Five?", he eeked out. Clearly he was speaking in tongues and I took full advantage. I snatched that baby up faster than I could say Hallelujah. The best part is that when I got home I discovered two crinkly old dollars hidden, tucked away beneath in the back. Christmas come early, thank you Jesus!